Tiny groups are the secret to keeping deep meaningful fellowship as the small group grows. If you have an open small group, or you are a seeker based small group, tiny groups can really help you overcome the challenge of a crowded room.

Symptoms of Needing Tiny Groups

• When you know people are willing to talk and share, but for some reason, the contribution to the conversation has reduced.
• When you’re running out of time in the small group and you still haven’t gotten very far into the material.
• Toward the end of the small group, you recognize one or more people that haven’t contributed to the conversation.
• Based on the lack of conversation, you start to wonder if people are reading and preparing for the small group.

These are all signs that could point to too many people sharing in the same conversation. The best remedy, and way to test this out, is breaking down into tiny groups so that people have an opportunity to share and contribute.

Tiny groups in small groups are when the whole big group is broken out into two or three smaller groups so that everyone has a better opportunity to contribute to the conversation.

Personal Story:

We were having great conversations in small group about the material. It seemed like a Swedish fire, it started and just got hotter as time went on. It was hard to wrap it up at the end of our time to pray and conclude. Then we invited one more person to join. Over the next several meetings people really accepted the new person into the group (we call this ‘gel’). They really gelled together and the conversation was still hot and highly contributed to. Then after a while, I sensed the conversation died down. I’d try to get the ball rolling during the material time with open-ended topic questions. It was dry, no one wanted to say anything. When I called on someone to share, they would provide a short answer that didn’t have much depth to how it made them feel or what it might have revealed to them. Based on the answers I could tell people were still reading the material and preparing for the small group. I prayed about it and felt like I should try having tiny groups. I asked the person hosting our next meeting if we could have two places to meet at their home. After announcements and prayer, I told the group we are going to try breaking out into tiny groups and numbered off. I sensed some confutation and hesitation. After we wrapped up that night, we had to wait for the other tiny group to reconvene. Turns out they had such a great time talking it was hard to end. As I looked backed and reviewed how I didn’t see this I found during the intial few weeks of the new person joining, there were other people missing that couldn’t make it. That made the group feel like it was the same size. But when the day came that everyone was present, it made if feel overfull.

Too many people in a large group can make some people feel more like they are on stage, instead of sharing with friends. I think this makes other people sensitive to not sharing for long, as it takes away opportunity from others. It gets into a situation where everyone is waiting on someone else, and it can feel selfish to talk.

When To Break Into Tiny Groups

A great time to break out into tiny groups is after the group has met together as a whole and been able to pray and discuss announcements. It’s important to keep everyone together so everyone has a social time together, hears the announcements, and gets to pray together.  Some people prefer to stick together as a big group, and that’s understandable. But as a leader, you should explain to them why, and let them you’ll all be back together again later in the evening.

After announcements is a great time for the small group leader to inform everyone that you’ll be breaking out into tiny groups.

How

You want to form tiny groups in a random, but systematic way so that it’s not the same people getting together over and over again. You also want to be sure no one feels like they are intentionally being left out of a group.

One way to do this is by going around the room in a progressive way and having people count off by twos, “one, two, one, two…”. The leader can then indicate where the ‘ones’ will be meeting, and where the ‘twos” will be meeting. This is easier with singles than with couples. In a couples small group, just have one person from the couple count off. With couples it’s sometimes easier to use the second method.

The other way is to keep  a record of who was in the tiny groups together. By reviewing the list you can intentionally mix it up and ensure everyone meets with one another at some point. This does take extra work and management unfortunately, but your extra diligence has the purpose of someone not feeling left out.

Delegate

Tiny groups are also a great way to identify future leaders, as the responsibility of facilitating the conversation in the tiny group will need to be someone’s responsibility. Try to give everyone this opportunity. Some people don’t know they should be leaders until after they’ve tried it a few times.

The role of the tiny group facilitator are:

• Keep the group on track
• Keep on subject
• Help review the questions for the material
• Watch the clock

This is a great ‘mini’ leadership role. Everyone that has this role at some point will grow in respect and appreciation for the small group leader.

Ask for volunteers to start with. Give the opportunity to everyone that wants it to begin with. Take note of these early volunteers, because they are also the ones that probably desire to be small group leaders in the future. Your objective will also be different with early volunteers than it will be with later asking someone.

Follow Up

With early tiny group leaders you’ll want to ask someone that was in their tiny group how it went. Do this in private, ideally over the phone after the small group. People who desire the role of leadership tend to have different stumbling blocks than the people who need to grow into it. Look for issues around controlling the group, almost turning dictator like.

Later on, after the volunteers have had an opportunity to lead, ask people individually. It’s best to ask them via a phone conversation before they arrive at small group. This gives them time to get their head in the game, and also removes any embarrassment or shame they might feel from not wanting to take this role. By calling them and having a quick conversation you’re really communicating that you care about them.  If someone you asked does accept the role to facilitate the tiny group, provide them a couple expectations. Early on it’s nice to only give them a couple points. The two I recommend starting with are;

1. Help facilitate the questions
2. Watch the clock

Facilitating questions exposes them to awkward silence. Every leader needs to become comfortable with this. If they don’t they will end up speaking to prevent silence and carry the ball every time no one says anything.

Watching the clock puts the burden of continual awareness on them. This is great thing to grow in, as later in leadership there will be other things they’ll be in continual awareness about, like members emotional and spiritual state.  It’s good to give them permission to go a little long if they feel they need to. You don’t want them to interrupt a conversation or cut someone off just to adjourn on time. Tell them to try to notify everyone in the tiny group when they only have about five minutes left. This brings a softer touch to closing it out.

After a new volunteer leads a tiny group, you don’t have to ask others how it went. You just have to ask the volunteer leader. This type of person is typically very honest, humble, and straight forward on their observations (to the point they will probably be too hard on themselves). This will give you an opportunity to encourage them and congratulate them on taking this step of faith.

Reconvening as a Small Group

If they’ve been watching the clock well, they should thank their tiny group for everyone’s contribution and come back together with the rest of the small group. It’s nice to have a short social time after tiny groups meet. Even if it’s just a few minutes before small group official ends, it still gives time to reconnect. It’s nice if the host will allow people to stick around after the official end time for those that do want to stay later and have an extended social time with friends.

Be Willing To Help

If you’ve reconvened your tiny group, and notice the other tiny group isn’t done yet it’s alright to help out. Give them an allowance of about ten minutes. That can seem like a long time, but remember there is a future leader in there struggling. Struggling is like exercising and it can help make us stronger. Your goal isn’t to ‘save’ them, but to ‘help’ them. After about ten minutes peak your head into the tiny group and ask the facilitating volunteer directly how it’s going. Give them an opportunity to answer. Then quietly sneak back out. Don’t take this opportunity to tell everyone it’s time to get back together. You’re not trying to do the facilitators job for them. You’re only trying to help by showing you support the person in the facilitator role. By looking in, asking, and leaving you accomplish that task.

“Time Under Pressure = Growth”

me

Take the Difficult Kids

In almost every small group there is someone who is considered ‘high maintenance’. I’m sorry if this comes across harsh, or disrespectful. I only bring it up because it’s uncomfortable and I want you to be equipped and prepared for it.  

This might take the form of someone who:

• Talks a lot
• Dominates conversations
• Talks over people
• Frequently has an opinion they need to express
• Brings the discussion off topic
• Argumentative, or frequently disagrees

If you have this type of person in your group, you’ll want to have them in your tiny group. Sometimes this takes pre-coordination and planning. Sometimes this brings the issues to the surface as this member quickly realizes they are always in your tiny group. Ideally, you will be upfront and honest with them. Tell them the truth, “Jim, you often have a lot of opinions and ideas. I love you just the way you are, but Chris is just trying out this tiny group facilitating and I’d feel better if he had less stress of fielding idea. Does that make sense?”  This can be uncomfortable, but leaders push into the uncomfortable. It’s better for the high maintenance person to know the truth, and be told by someone that genuine cares about them, rather than pick up the unsaid notion by an audience. This can be embarrassing.

Small groups are amazing. God can do amazing things with people when they allow the power of fellowship in their lives. This power comes through authenticity, stories, honestly, and celebration. When people don’t share those things because of fear of speaking to too many people, or don’t share because they want to be ultra respectful and provide others with the opportunity to talk, that amazingness can get stifled out.

Tiny groups can help. Try breaking the small group into a couple tiny groups for part of the small group and see what happens. Not only will this allow for greater conversation, it will also be a platform for future small group leaders.