How to Improve Fellowship In Small Group
How can you improve fellowship in a small group?
The purpose of the small group is to grow in faith by having a group of other believers to share life with and keep us accountable. When we invest this time and energy into a small group and don’t feel the benefits of the impact in our life it can signal something is missing. Most often the problem is the small group is staying on the surface of issues and not going deep together. The benefits of a small group are greatly improved with the depth of fellowship.
How can you improve the fellowship in small group? The best way to improve fellowship in the small group is to ask meaningful open-ended questions and prevent unsolicited advice. Create a safe and trusted environment.
Allow the member the opportunity to share authentically what they think and share who they are. When people share authentically, without the fear of rejection, they feel closer to the small group. The only role you have in this leading in a way that sets clear boundaries on advice, interrupting, and dominating the conversation. Then you need to have the faith and courage to rebuke people when they break these boundaries. By providing this leadership and fostering this authentically, your small group will greatly improve its fellowship.
Invite the members to share
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This can be done by asking open-ended questions to allow them to be free with their answer. Most people enjoy talking about themselves. By providing an opportunity, and an invitation (with an open-ended question), you’ll give them a platform to share who they are and their perspective on things. Often the way we interpret and think about things is tied to our philosophy. How we view and feel about God greatly impacts our personal philosophy.
Don’t fret the answer
The most difficult time to give someone a platform to share is when someone has a strong opinion about something and their answer is highly pointed and pressured. Don’t worry about it, you’re goal is not to change the way the person thinks. Your goal is to serve them and help feel accepted and comfortable in the small group. Thank them for their opinion. Thanking someone for sharing is not the same as agreeing with them. By thanking them you’re confirming they are important and valued. You’re also telling everyone else that you respect that person so that there is not an opportunity to insult them. Challenging or giving a different perspective is just fine, as long as the member is not personally criticized or insulted. The other thing you’re doing by supporting them is making everyone else feel like they can contribute. Often people don’t feel like they perspective matters, and their unique thoughts will not be valued. Often, highly vocal and opinionated people are assets in small groups because they get the ball rolling! It’s like they just jumpstarted a dead battery and now the engine is roaring.
Move the conversation to the topic of God
So many times people consume small group with small chat.
Some ways to do that is:
Invite people to share their testimony
At the beginning of a small group bring up the idea of everyone sharing the testimony during small group. I recommend one person per small group. I also recommend doing it when everyone is meeting together, meaning not a men’s only time or women’s only time.
Set expectations that everyone will be given about ten minutes to share their testimony with the group. Ask them to draft it out and practice it ahead of time so that they can try to honor this time frame. Have people sign up on a schedule and try to provide them with a reminder ahead of time and thank them for sharing.
At the beginning of the small group, after social time and prayer, set the platform and prepare everyone for the member sharing their testimony.
Something like, “We’ve invited everyone to share their testimony with us. Today, Jill has taken the step of faith and offered to share hers. We’re going to try to keep this under ten minutes. Please remember that Jill is sharing her personal story, and it’s not your story. So please be respectful to her and don’t offer any advise. Jill, are you ready to bless us by sharing what God has done in your life?”
Now be quiet, sit back and be a great listener. This time will have a huge impact on the small group. Not only will everyone feel closer to the person sharing, but they also feel closer by sharing their own story. This is usually a very personal and intimate story. When we do something we’re scared to do in front of people, we can’t help but feel closer.
The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:15“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
Article: How to help people pray in Small group
Pray Together
Another great way to improve the depth of fellowship is by praying together. Check out this article on how to help people pray in small group
Read the Bible Out Loud
Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Pick a chapter in the Bible and ask everyone to participate in the reading. Ask someone to start, read a couple of lines, and the next person picks up where they left off. This can be extremely powerful. It points everyone to God’s word and sets the foundation of conversation. In addition, it reinforces everyone to bring a Bible. Having a Bible is critical in a small group so that people can validate what others are saying, and look up things God is placing on their hearts during small group.
Don’t worry about the different Bible versions being read, just listen and read along in your own. If you hear something concerning or confusing offer an opportunity for people to share what if their Bibles said anything different.
Biblegateway.com says “reading aloud is multisensory” and “reading aloud improves retention”, and “slows us down”. (https://www.biblegateway.com/devotionals/niv-365-devotional/2015/01/11)
Challenge Tranparency
This can be difficult, and that’s what leaders do – they push in the difficult and uncomfortable. Set the example by being transparent about your life and your challenges and how you’re asking God to help you.
Causes of Shallow Fellowship
There are two events that can cause the depth of fellowship to weaken. The first is with people who have been in small group together for a long time. One consequence is that people grow comfortable with each other and think everyone already knows them and there is nothing left to share. Sometimes the friendships between people grow over time, and then those people become scared of sharing the sin and difficulty in their life because they don’t want their friends to think less of them. But this whole relationship and the depth of it is due to being based on honesty, authenticity, and Christ.
The second time is when people are new. They don’t know that transparency and authenticity is the miracle of small group. They have never experienced it before and they might not be used to it. Be patient with them. Teach them. Your role as a small group leader is to train them through example and demonstrate what this looks like. When done correctly, it will be attractive and powerful and lead them to do the same.