One of the most unspoken expectations in a small group is that everyone should share the responsibility of hosting a small group meeting. Sometimes this remains silent and the silence eventually becomes loud after some offer to host and others don’t volunteer. 

Should everyone in a small group host a small group meeting? Every member of the small group should host at least one meeting. No matter how much room, or how nice it is. Sharing in this responsibility is an offering to the small group, and offering to the Lord, and leads to greater fellowship.

The greatest cause of not signing up for hosting is small group members feeling like their home is not as nice as others and because of the don’t feel comfortable having others in their home. Sharing in what we have, whether much or little is a sign of, and fruit of, fellowship. No matter what kind of home they have, even if yours or someone else’s is more comfortable and suited for hosting, they should still host at least one meeting.

Here are some whys to help encourage people to host small group meetings

1. Set the expectations

The best thing you can do is set the expectation of everyone hosting a small group meeting. As a leader, this is something you should address early on in the small group. A good time to bring this up is when you review the small group covenant together.

Invite people to participate in hosting. Let people know that you are happy to meet at their place no matter how large or small it is. Even if they have an eight by eight-foot room, you’ll all be happy to squeeze into what they have for an intimate time of fellowship together. 

Acts 2:45 “They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had a need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”

Here we see the believers getting together in their homes, during a time when they were selling their possessions. These were not rich people. Hosting was not reserved for those who had much. 

Our culture can make people feel like we need to meet a standard to be acceptable to invite others to what we have. This is couldn’t be further from the truth. Jesus wants us to offer what we have, not just out of our wealth. Another example of this is Mark 12:41-44.

Mark 12:44 “They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything – all she had to live on.”

2. Pass around a schedule

Make your invitation formal by introducing a sign-up sheet for hosting. Print off a sheet allowing people to sign up to host a small group over the next several months. Bring it to the small group and during announcements let everyone know you’d like to share in hosting. Consider attaching the sheet to a clipboard, and pass it around the room for people to commit to. 

This will encourage people to sign up to host and should help bring any remaining questions to the surface. People who are tentative will tend to use this opportunity to bring up their concerns. 

3. Talk to people individually

If someone doesn’t sign up to host, or they express directly to you they prefer not to, put the issue on the table and dialogue about it. Push into the uncomfortable as a leader and learn more about them. Ask them why this feel this way. 

Your goal is to get to the true source of their motivation for their decision. Your goal isn’t to change their mind, it’s to influence their heart. It’s the same goal for the small group, to grow in our faith and love for the Lord by being in fellowship together. 

Ask good questions and through prayer consider to challenge them in an area you see an opportunity for them to grow in. 

4. Set an example

A critical part of sharing hosting is that you host yourself. Sometimes this isn’t an issue, as most small group leaders bear the burden of hosting the most, and sometimes all of the meetings. But you can build a bridge to help those that feel uncomfortable hosting by picking a room, or a section of your home, to host in that is small. Pick an extra guest room, or get crazy and meet inside the walk-in closet (alright maybe that is a little too extreme). 

The idea here is to pick a space to host a meeting that makes other small group members feel more comfortable about what they have to offer. Sometimes the uncomfort of crowding into a tight space for one evening is worth the joy of having someone open up their home to host a meeting. 

5. Take a Mini-Turn

My least favorite way is to open up another opportunity to have them open their home. The goal here is to help them take a small step in opening their home for a short time so that they will feel more comfortable opening it up for hosting the small group. 

One way you can do this is planning a ‘dinner tour’. This is an event where each person in the small group plans a part of a multi-course meal. You begin at the house that is serving appetizers, then travel to the next house for the salad, and so on until you reach the home for dessert. 

These events can be a lot of fun but the goal here is to have them sign up for having people in their home for salad. This will take less than thirty minutes. Sometimes this can help them. 

FAQs

What if someone still doesn’t want to host?

If you’ve attempted to encourage someone to host a small group meeting by doing all the recommendations we’ve listed above and they still don’t offer to host you shouldn’t hesitate to talk to them directly about it. Your goal isn’t to make them feel guilty or bully them into hosting. Your goal is to understand their motivation why they have decided not to host. It’s really good to know what their reason is. Once you’ve given them an opportunity to explain decide if you should push into this, if it’s fear-based, or if you should just thank them for giving you a straight answer and encourage them to consider it in the future. But without asking them you’ve fallen short of bringing an open issue to closure. 

When is it alright to not have someone host?

If they live with their parents or under an authority. If someone in your small group lives in a home under an informal agreement (not a formal rental) then you should allow them the opportunity not to host. This is a situation where they can’t offer what they don’t have and rightfully they don’t have the place they are hosting. They are only guests there.

Another reason is if they have an animal, or something else, that can impact someone else in a small group due to allergies. We’ve had issues where someone in the small group is very open to hosting, but because they’ve had many house cats we were not able to meet at their home because some people in our small group were allergic. 

We’ve also had issues where people have had sensitivities to things like smells. If the smell was too strong it would actually cause them to get a severe headache. People who scent their home with candles or potpourri can cause this issue. 

The last reason is if there is something offensive there to someone else in a small group. This could be anything across a wide spectrum. Issues like this might have been talked about individually and pushed into further for resolve. Some examples might be rock band posters or artwork.