Welcome to the ultimate how to host a small group guide. When you are done reading this guide you will know what to do from start to end, soup to nuts, on how to set up and host your small group. This is the perfect guide for someone that is hosting a small group for the first time or someone who wants to polish their skills and process.

Small groups are critical to a healthy church. The church is not the building. The church is the people! It’s the bride of Christ. Small groups are the best way to spend time with the people of the church. This is a time really get to know each. Laugh together, study together, read God’s word, pray, cry, and struggle through things. The power of small group can be tremendous in peoples lives, especially people that have a harder time making friends. Small groups are a bunch of people putting their arm around each other and stating, “We’ll be your friends!” It’s not because everyone looks fashionable, or is cool, or funny. It’s because Jesus calls us to unity together. The sick, the poor, the needy, and everyone else. If you’re a believer you’re in the family of fellowship based on Christ. 

Instead of being all believers from the church body, sometimes a small group might have the purpose of being more outreach purposed. We commonly call this a ‘seeker based’ small group. The goal here is to use God’s love for the church, and the lost, to love on people that are not yet connected to either God’s truth, or God’s body of people the church. 

Seeker or Growth Based Small Group

So the first thing you’ll need to decide is what kind of small group you want to host, seeker based or growth based?

If your purpose is to grow deeper in your faith through the fellowship and accountability of other believers than this should be a growth based small group. It is an incredible experience to join with other believers and open up your life with them. God reveals what he’s doing in other people lives, and asks you to share what He is doing in your life. This is extremely encouraging and helps us break through the wall of fear and temptation we have every day. 

Sometimes there are exceptions, and they should be expected, that someone from the church joins your growth based small group, and they are not yet a believer in Jesus Christ. That’s alright, a matter of fact, that is a GREAT thing. They attend the church, but they are not apart of Christ’s bride the church. They are showing a heart of desire and learning. Be authentic and faithful and look forward to seeing what God does in their life through your small group. 

If your purpose is to reach out to the lost, or the neighborhood, or a social group that isn’t connected to the church, then you should host a seek based small group. This group is still based on Jesus, reads the Bible, and uses faith as a foundation for what they do but they do it in a way that is inviting for non-church people to participate in. This might look like a study on the basics of Christianity, or what does the Bible say, something basic and helps answer a question that non-church goers might have. You want to be the place that hosts a study, based on some kind of material, and attempts to answer that for them. Even though it initially appears that the goal is for the material to answer a question for them, the real goal is for them to see Jesus in your life and want that so that they place their faith and hope in Jesus. 

Some people warn that these groups should have ‘mature‘ believers in them, and be careful not to get too heavy into knowledge topics so that the leaders don’t appear to be unprepared. I respect that position, but I think if God is putting it on your heart to host a seeker based small group, that He will provide everything you need. This includes from a place to host, to the humility to answer a tough question with, “I don’t know”. Humility is a lost character trait, only seldom found outside people who trust in Jesus. It is so beautiful, that by you NOT know everything, actually makes you more attractive for Christ. Hosting a seeker based small group can be scary as you don’t know who will join, and what they will think about all this Bible stuff. Be faithful and go forward. Even if it’s a complete disaster, it’s your offering to the Lord and that’s a beautiful thing. 

Matthew 28: 18 – 20 – “Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Article: Choosing Your Small Group Material

Now that you know what kind of small group you want to host you should start considering material. We’ve written a whole article on just how to choose the right material for your small group 

It’s tempting to think that you can pick this out after you have everyone together for the small group. That would be a mistake. New small group members feel more comfortable and confident seeing a leader that has everything put together. They don’t feel as confident considering a small group that doesn’t have material chosen. You’re thought might be that you’d like to have everyone in the small group decide what material you’ll be using. Don’t do this, instead, choose material that reflects the goal and vision you have for the small group. This will give everyone more confidence and give everyone a common platform and topic, to begin with. The worst-case scenario is you get started and discover this isn’t the best material for your small group. In that case, you can change it later. 

Size

Most small groups are between six and twelve people. Honestly, that’s the sweet spot. Less than that and seems like fuel for the conversation can burn out too quickly. More than that and people actually contribute less. Twelve is right at the point I recommend you start considering Tiny Groups. Here is an article below where we cover the in’s and out’s, the benefits, symptoms, and how to do it. 

Article: What is a Tiny Group in a Small Group

Advertising your small group

(picture and template)

The template should include your picture, name of the small group, the material you will be reviewing, days of the week you meet, the cadence, the times, and if it’s aimed at a specific group of people. It should also include how to reach you and sign up.

Let’s start telling people about this amazing opportunity to join your small group! I’m sure at this point you might be a little nervous. Thoughts are traveling around your head like:

• Who’s going to join my small group?
• Are they going to be weird?
• Are they going to like me?
• Is anyone going to join my small group, that will be the WORST if no one joins!
• Oh no, what if only one person joins!? That would be the worst! Me and one other person!

Laugh it off, as it’s common to have these thoughts and fears. Almost everyone has them. But the truth is your small group is going to AMAZING. It’s going to great, and it’s going to be filled with incredible people. And the best thing of all is you are all going to grow in your faith because you took a step of faith and obedience to host this small group. Get ready for the blessing!

How do we include other people in this blessing? We need to tell them about it and invite them. 

Some churches know all about the power of small groups. They love them and support them and will even have a season for them. They might even have dedicated staff or leaders responsible for supporting the small group leaders. If this is like your church than partner with them on how to advertise and get people to sign up for your small group. One great way I’ve seen this done is having a small group kick off weekend. This is done before or after church service. Everyone hosting a small group is onsite and available. The event is hosted in a hall, or gathering space where everyone can see it. (It’s best not to tuck this event away in a back room). Each small group leader will have a table, and on the table will be all the information potential small group members will want to know about your small group. This will include; the name of your small group, the name of leaders, days of the week and times, how often you’ll meet, and the material you’ll be reviewing. An optional piece of information I’ve seen be helpful is ‘purpose’. Sometimes communicating the purpose of your small group will really help people qualify if it’s the right one for them or not. Sometimes the books can be indicative of this, and other times not, but you shouldn’t depend on the book or material to communicate this critical piece of the small group.

This can initially be an awkward event. It feels like people are ‘people shopping’, and when they look at your table and move along you feel like you just got personally denied. Try not to feel that way, instead look every visitor in the eyes, smile authentically and say ‘hello’. Ask them about themselves. As your listening to them, instead of focusing on yourself and if you’ll be denied, pray for them silently. Focus on them. Praise God they are taking a step of faith are even here looking around. Pray that they will connect to the perfect small group for them. One way you can help them is work with the leaders to prepare a small group reference guide. Think of this as a mini cheat sheet. After you listen to the guest, reference the sheet, and see if there are one or two small groups that might really be a good fit. Without coming across like you’re denying them from your small group, point them to other resources. Say something like, “You might also want to talk to Jen and John too today before you make a decision on what small group to join. I see where they are hosting a small group about parenting, and based on what you just shared it sounds like that might be appealing to you.”

If your church is new to small groups and you’re leading the charge without support, then here is what I recommend. Start by identifying a partner. This is someone you’d like to partner with. They might not want to co-lead with you, but just having them in your small group will strengthen you with a familiar face you trust. Talk to them ahead of time and get their commitment to joining. Now that you have a small group side-kick, pray that God will bring people to the forefront of your heart and mind. Now be faithful and approach these people in an informal social environment, like after church service. Say something like, “Hi Beca, I’ve been thinking about you. John and I are going to lead a small group starting next month. We’re going to be studying the topic of loving our neighbor. I know that’s something you’ve mentioned you have an interest in. If you have the availability, we’d love to have you come check it out. Would you like to hear more?”

For people that know they want to sign up, add them to the sign-up sheet and reserve a space for them out of the open spots you have available. Some people will be interested, but not ready to commit. Ask them if you can follow up with them later and take down their name and number. 

In review:

• Invite someone you want to partner with
• Decide purpose: seeker vs growth
• Choose material
• Consider size
• Advertise

Fielding questions

Your next step is following with the people who were thinking about it and you made a commitment to following up with them. This won’t be every one that expressed interest, it will only be the people that were on the fringe and were willing to share their contact information with you. Give them a quick call and see how they’re doing and if there are any questions you can help answer. They will either commit to your group, tell you they’ve joined a different one, or tell you they are still thinking about it. At this point, it’s their responsibility to make sure you communicate that. Tell them to follow up with you if they need anything else.

One important thing to note is available space in your small group. It’s a weird issue and hard to balance between people that are interested, what size you wanted your group and all the other control issues we have as humans. I don’t have the perfect answer for this. I do recommend not holding tight to your expectations and handing it over the Lord. One thing I do recommend is being very light on how you communicate to people interested in your small group how many spaces you have left available. One one side, you want to make them aware so they are not hurt when they come back two days later to find out your small group is full, and one the other hand you don’t want it to come across like pressure to sign up. The last thing I want is someone to commit to the small group, not because they were authentically interested and excited, but because they were fearful that if they didn’t take that spot they won’t get into a small group. So my advice is to be prayerful and approach this topic sensitively and be open to God changing your plans. 

In review:

• Follow up with interested people
• Answer questions
• Be sensitive about available space

Before your first small group

For everyone that signed up for your small group, call them shortly after the sign-up event and let them know you are excited to have them in your small group and can’t wait to get started. Then communicate any important information they will need to know like date, time, and place. Review the material you’ll be using in small group and ask them to start preparing by ordering or downloading the material. It’s ideal to have your first group without studying and reviewing the material, so make sure they don’t need to do any reading or studying. Lastly, thank them for joining. Thankfulness is a Godly attribute and this is really the icing on the cake that people feel welcome and excited to join. Because although you’re probably nervous about hosting a small group, consider for a moment how nervous these new attendees are. They will be going to a home they’ve never been to before, meeting with people they probably don’t know, and sharing their deepest and darkest secrets (alright maybe not that far – but that’s how they feel!). So by ending the call letting them know you appreciate them is a great way to help them get more comfortable and prepared for your very first small group meeting. 

In review:

• Call people that signed up
• Express Your Excitement
• Equip Them with Time & Place
• Review Material
• Ask them to Order or Download
• Thank Them

Your first small group!

Very exciting, you’ve done all the prework and now it’s time for your first official small group meeting. Everyone has found it and arrived. They are happy, but if you look closely, they are little nervous. What should you do now? 

Introductions 

Welcome everyone and ask them to find a comfortable place to gather around. I say it like this because sometimes it’s more comfortable for people to sit on the floor, or stand, or pace around. It’s up to you and your unique flavor of small group on what you invite them to do. Ask everyone to share their name, a hobby they enjoy, and why they joined this small group. This really sets the stage and helps you collect expectations. If someone has joined your small group for a reason way out in left field, take note of it and follow up with that person after the small group in private. There have been times people have forgotten what our small group was about and assumed it was on a whole different topic. After going around the room and giving everyone an opportunity to introduce themselves and share something, it’s time for icebreakers!

Icebreakers

The purpose of an icebreaker to equip someone with a question that allows them to share and express how they are unique. It might include what if’s, name a time, if you were a character,… It really gives them the freedom to reveal their character. The benefit of icebreakers is that it helps people relax and become more socially comfortable with the group. It’s a step into conversation that can help lead to more sharing, deeper conversation, and more meaningful sharing. 

We built a list of 101 Small Group Icebreakers you can view here

Article: 101 Small Group Icebreaker Questions

Cast a Vision

Now that everyone is relaxed it’s a great time to cast the vision of your small group. Us this opportunity to share the ‘why’. Why have you all made the sacrifice of time and comfort? You’ve done it grow in your faith. This group has a purpose. You all want more of God. You all want to honor Him and be more faithful with your lives. Don’t beat around the bush, nows the time to deliver that vision. This creates a common platform and the purpose will be the fuel that everyone needs to keep coming, keep showing up, keep reading, keep contributing. 

I like to cast the vision that small group is like a spiritual feast. We all want to feast on God’s word and what He is doing in our lives. Do that we all need to bring something. We are all expected to contribute. Read and study the material and bring something to share. That something can be how it spoke to you or how you’re going to apply it. It can be spiritual encouragement from a verse you read. It can be a prayer request or an answered prayer. But they are expected to bring something for the feast. If they prepare and contribute, it’s like someone showing up to a pot luck, without contributing anything. 

Review Covenant

The small group covenant is an agreement between members. It highlights what is expected of them (like reading and contributing mentioned above), respecting one another, being a good listener, and making attendance to small group a priority in their lives. 

Coming Soon: Article on How to Create a Small Group Covenant with Examples

There are different perspectives if you should ask members to sign the covenant or not. My position is we don’t sign anything for salvation, it’s a heart issue. Obeying the small group covenant is the same thing. Members aren’t going to follow the rules because they signed it. They are going to follow it because they believe in it. 

Hosting & Snack Sign-Up

After addressing any questions about the covenant, it’s a great time to share expectations on other people hosting the small group. If you will be hosting all the meetings you can skip this step. Usually, it’s a really good practice to have everyone host a small group meeting. Even if they only have a small space, it builds a stronger fellowship and it’s an offering of what we have.

It’s also desirable to have some kind of snack at small group. Instead of you always being responsible for it, it’s better to ask everyone to share in this task. A general way of providing a snack is something sweet and something salty. An example would be brownies and pretzels. Depending on the size of your group it’s good to split this duty into two, one person brings sweet and another person brings a salty snack. This sign-up not only elevates additional responsibilities off your plate but gives members something to be accountable for and allows them to invest in the small group. This is a really good thing. 

Pass around a sign-up sheet for hosting and snacks. This can all be on a single form with multiple columns for responsibility or it can be on separate sheets. 

Review material 

Confirm everyone has gotten the small group material. If not, encourage them to get it quickly. Once people have confirmed they have it or can get it, provide an overview summary fo the material and then set the first assignment. For example, it might be to read chapter one and highlight two to three things that interested you. Be ready to share these things next time we meet. 

Play a Game

Now that you’ve covered all the important duties, have fun for the rest of your time together by playing a game. Pick a game that allows people to get to know each other more, or be silly, or is funny. Enjoy the rest of the evening socializing and having fun. Next time you meet things will get down to business. 

In review:

• Introductions
• Icebreakers
• Cast a Vision
• Review the Covenant
• Hosting & Snack Sign-Up
• Review & Confirm Material
• Play

Second Small Group

Things are going to start to pickup here. The gears have been greased, and this is the meeting where the wheels starting turning and getting traction. 

Don’t feel sad if someone doesn’t come back to the second small group. I feel like this is very common to have a person, or a couple, not come back to small group after the first meeting. It can seem confusing and maybe even hurtful, but the truth is that it’s not your fault and it’s normal. If this happens, let everyone in the small group know that you’ll follow up with the people that didn’t make it and find out what happened. 

Social Time

Just like last time, start with an informal social time. Let me people be who they are and talk about what they want. You might feel the need to save people from awkward silence but don’t. This is a normal growing pain, so let it happen.

Icebreaker

Again, just like the first small group ask everyone to finish their snack, or bring them with and join in the gathering space for an icebreaker question. Use our list if it helps and pose an icebreaker that allows everyone to share something unique about themselves. If this is a couples small group, make sure each person gets to talk (not just one). 

Announcements

Here is the first of several changes from the first small group. Instead of talking about vision and the covenant, share any announcements. This will include where you are going to meet next, church events going on, and anything like that. This serves as a tool to communicate important information and it also serves to get everyone situated in the gathering space and quiet down. 

Contact form

Hopefully, you already know how to reach everyone, but that doesn’t everyone else does. And if you’re going to be close like a family than people will need to know how to get ahold of each other. This will come in handy if there is a prayer request, change to hosting schedule, or a last minute social event people want to invite others to. Instruct people to choose the best way to contact them and fill it out. After they are done pass it to the person next to them. 

Afterward, make a copy of this contact sheet and plan on providing it to everyone at the next small group. 

Pray

Here is where things can get weird. You’re going to pray. And you’re going to pray out loud and in front of people. For some this will be difficult, for others it will be easier. Praying does several things. First, it places a dependency on God. This is His small group, not yours. You are only a facilitator. The success of what and how happens in this small group ultimately depends on God. Pray that God would do what he wants to do with your time together. Secondly, by praying out loud it sets the standard that prayer is important and will be a centerpiece of your small group. You’re praying now, but in the future we want other people to pray too. It starts with you leading in this area. It doesn’t have to be long, but it should be authentic.

Material review

Everything has lead up to this. This is the easy part. Now you can talk about what everybody read and learned from the material. Your goal here as a leader of a new small group is to be a great listener and encourage people. After you listen to what they say, consider if there are any follow up questions or comments that you will provoke more conversation. Ask questions that relate the topic to God. Ask questions about how there are any ways they can apply what they’ve read to their lives.

Watch the clock and be respectful of the clock. If you can try to give a five-minute heads up that anyone that has anything to share to please do it now because you’ll be wrapping up in a few minutes. If people can stick around after small group, invite them to.  It’s also a great time to recap what you’ve gone over, set the assignment for next week, and remind people where you will be meeting. 

Congratulations, you just completed your second small group. 

In review:

• Social Time
• Icebreakers
• Announcements
• Contact Information
• Prayer
• Review Material

Third Small Group

The only thing that is going to change for your third small group is that you are going to start incorporating prayer at the end of your material review. Provide the expectation that everyone will be praying for the person on the right-hand side. Then ask everyone to go around and share one thing they want prayer for. It could be on applying what they’ve learned, or something else in their life. Then take turns going around and praying. Allow roughly fifteen minutes for this. 

If someone doesn’t feel comfortable praying, give them to permission to just say a quick template prayer like, “Jesus I life up _persons name_ and ask you to help them with their request.” If they still don’t feel comfortable, that’s alright, offer to pray for them tonight. 

You rock! You’ve just finished your third small group. People are becoming more comfortable and you’re starting to get into a rhythm. 

In review:

• Social Time
• Icebreakers
• Announcements
• Contact Information
• Prayer
• Review Material
• Pray

Fourth & Beyond

From here on out just follow this existing cadence. Take time to be reading your Bible. Pray for your small group, each person in it. Learn how to be a great small group leader.

Coming Soon Article: how to be a great small group leader

Start thinking if there are special events you want to plan. This might be your small group serving together, or having a dinner out. Once you get more comfortable wiht each other I highly recommend planning a small group retreat. 

Coming Soon Article: how to Plan a small group retreat.

Remember to keep a heart of worship during all this hustle and bustle. This is your way of telling the Lord that you love Him. It’s beautiful. Even if all this stuff goes wrong, not as planned, or backwards, if you show up with a heart for the Lord – it will be perfect.

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”